


touch my tears with your lips

by goingthroughemotions



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Confessions, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Michael!Dean, Season/Series 14, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, Supportive Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 07:00:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17442146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingthroughemotions/pseuds/goingthroughemotions
Summary: Michael is finally defeated, and Dean is left to deal with the consequences, but he won't be alone.





	touch my tears with your lips

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this in the back of my head for a while, and I was finally able to write it down. It's not much, but it's an honest work.   
> (title from Who Wants To Live Forever by Queen because I'm a slut for Queen)

The first thing Dean feels the moment he regains control of his own body again is pain, pure and simple. It courses in his veins and extends throughout his body, but at the same time it seems to be centered in his chest, taking his breath away. His legs give out and he drops to the ground, tears falling beside his hands in dark spots on the pavement. He feels gentle hands grabbing his face, he feels the cold, calming spark of grace entering his body. He doesn’t give it much thought. He knows his pain can’t be healed by a touch, can’t be erased, because Michael is not stupid. Michael knew from the start what Dean was capable of, what he had been able to bear in the darkest pits of hell. After all, he had just been in his head. 

Michael’s plan was accurately studied to leave Dean with something deeper than a flesh wound, something Castiel’s powers couldn’t heal.  Dean hated to admit it, but the archangel had managed to do what even Lucifer could not. He had truly broken him, had pushed all the right buttons in his psyche and had found the way to make it crumble down. 

Feeling Dean call for him through prayer was nothing new to Castiel, and neither was healing him right away, when he sensed the man’s discomfort or pain. This time, though, Dean is screaming in his mind, and Cas can almost physically feel everything he’s going through. He rushes to his side and tries to heal him, but when his grace does nothing to soothe him, Castiel can’t help feeling utterly useless. He uses his body instead, wrapping Dean in his arms until he stops shaking and the tears are replaced by drooping eyelids.

 

When Dean comes to his senses all he sees is darkness, infinitely spreading around him, enveloping him. He jumps up on the bed, his breath sharp and his heart beating wildly, until his eyes start to adjust and he recognizes the familiar setting. Seeing his own room calms him, but he knows it could just be one of Michael’s mind games, so he stays alert. The door slowly opens and light starts to pour from the hallway, a dark figure moving further inside the room and flipping a switch. 

“Dean, you are awake. How are you feeling?” Cas sits on the side of his bed, a tired but comforting smile playing on his lips. 

“Is this real? I- I remember him leaving but-“ Dean trails off, hands fumbling with the sheets, collecting himself.

“Michael is gone, Dean. You are home, and safe, there is nothing to be worried about.” 

Dean raises his head, and now that he really looks at him he notices that Cas seems lighter, happier somehow. _Defeating an immortal archangel whose only purpose was to put an end to the world will do that to you_ , he thinks, chuckling slightly. The look Cas gives him after that is something that shouldn’t even be possible to express on a human face, and Deans heart starts to pound in his chest, this time for an entirely different reason. They’re just smiling stupidly at each other when Sam bursts into the room.

“Hey, can you quit it with the staring match? Breakfast’s ready.” Dean just laughs, redness coloring his cheeks, and Cas thinks he’s never seen something this heartwarmingly beautiful, not in his thousands of year of existence.

 

It’s after breakfast - “Damn, Sammy, looks like you’ll be cooking a hell of a lot more often” - when it occurs to Dean that the bunker is suspiciously silent.

“Where’s Jack?” Dean frowns, despite everything, he kinda misses the kid.

“He’s with mom and Bobby, it seemed safer” Sam replies, still engrossed in a thick, dusty book. “They’re already on their way here” he looks up at Dean and smiles, patting him on the shoulder. Sam’s eyes move to the angel drinking coffee and scanning through the shelves. “You should go talk to him” he says with a nod, and then returns to his work. 

Dean considers his brother’s advice, looking at Castiel’s figure moving fluidly in his task. He remembers the angel’s first years on earth, when he seemed out of place, stiff and distant. He looks at home in his own body now, and somehow the way he carries himself is different, more human. He never felt more approachable than at this moment. 

Dean takes a deep breath and takes the steps that separate them, leaning on the edge of the table near the shelf Cas is inspecting so closely, frowning deeply. 

“Those books hurt you?” Dean says with a cocky grin on his face. Cas turns around with a glare, betrayed but the start of a smile on his lips, and Dean is so royally fucked. 

“I’m aiding Sam in his research, you can help if you want” Cas replies, pointedly rising his eyebrows at him.

“Yeah, don’t think so. Thanks for the offer, though” he says with a smirk, which fades a little when he remembers what he came here to do. He clears his throat and prepares to speak, hoping to lift the weight that sits on his tongue.

“Hey, I... Uhm, I think we should talk” he speaks softly, almost unintelligible if it weren’t for Castiel’s supernatural hearing. Everything is about to change, and one way or the other, it can never be the same. Cas looks at him with a frown, then he walks between the shelves to get some privacy and motions him to do the same. He looks comfortably at ease and collected, while Dean is so nervous he almost trips on a table. 

When they’re far from Sam’s prying eyes, he feels like he finally has the courage to tell Cas what he’s been hiding from himself for a long time. He starts to open his mouth to speak when his eyes catch the angel’s, who is unexpectedly closer than before, and who’s regarding him with a curious and loving expression on his face. Dean thinks he might die just from the way Cas looks at him sometimes, openly showing his feelings like that.

Dean is rendered speechless for what feels like an eternity, and the moment he takes a breath to organize his thoughts and speak - for real this time, Dean - he finds Cas is just a few inches away, and slowly drawing closer, eyes set on Dean’s mouth. He unconsciously licks his lips, his heart beating furiously in his chest, like a beast fighting for its freedom. And now Cas is looking him in the eye, so close to him, and yet Dean wants him even closer. When their breaths come together and become indistinguishable, Dean slowly brings his mouth to touch Cas’. Their hands settle on each other like they’re meant to fit there, and from the soft brushing of their lips starts a fire that goes all the way down their bodies. 

They part slowly and take in ragged breaths, and when they come together again, Dean feels like he has been waiting his whole life for this, for this missing piece to come into his life and turn it upside down. He had it all - had Cas - right in front of him all along, if he only bothered to look.  Cas is stroking his cheek and his jaw and his hair, and in his eyes there is such reverence, such admiration, that Dean can’t help but drop his gaze and look away. 

“I believe I have made clear how I feel towards you, but because I know how obtuse you can be when you put your mind to it, I’m telling you again, with words this time.” Dean feels exposed and embarrassed by Castiel’s bluntness, but safe, and loved, and cared for.

“I have been in love with you since I laid my hand on you, Dean Winchester.” Cas smiles wistfully, as if remembering that exact moment, and suddenly Dean wants to know everything about it, about what Cas thought and felt seeing him, a broken and twisted thing in the darkness of hell, for the first time.

“I fell for you in every way, and I refuse to stop now.” Cas speaks again, so Dean interrupts him by claiming his lips, like a man longing for air. Dean doesn’t feel the world disappear, his problems are still very much real, and his mental health is not magically restored, but maybe, thanks to this, he can find that motivation, that strength, and that support he needs to overcome those hardships on his own.  He knows his family is messed up, and his relationship with Cas has always been complicated, but if the decade long build-up is any indication, maybe they could be better together. 


End file.
